


Right Question, Wrong Castle

by 1L40



Category: Castle
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-19
Updated: 2014-08-19
Packaged: 2018-02-09 17:36:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1991775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1L40/pseuds/1L40
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A long overdue talk between Beckett and Martha at the end of S5.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Right Question, Wrong Castle

**Author's Note:**

> Reposted from FF net

Martha Rogers walked into a dark and quiet loft. The calm that had settled over the evenings in the Castle household still surprised her at times, she'd half expected to walk into a laser tag game between her son and granddaughter. However, things were different now that Alexis had left for college and Richard spent considerable time at Beckett's place.

When she'd left that evening, Richard had been chained to his laptop in his office, trying to make a deadline. She glanced over to his space of the loft and saw the soft glow coming from his office. She sauntered over, expecting to see her son typing away on a keyboard, completely engrossed in whatever horrid scenario his mind had currently been conjuring up.

Instead she found the office empty. Apparently Richard had given up for the evening and forgotten to turn off the light. Martha leaned over the desk to reach for the light switch but froze in action, when she heard the moans and groans coming from her son's bedroom, slightly muffled by the door and walls.

Her mouth shaped into a quiet 'o'. The dear detective must have stopped by tonight after all, even though Richard had officially sequestered himself to get some writing done and practically shooed herself out of the apartment for her own date. She frowned, wondering whether it had all been an act on her son's part to get the loft alone to himself and his girlfriend.

The moans were now turning into higher pitched 'yeahs' and 'Ricks' and were accompanied by low grunts, making Martha blush. To avoid further embarrassment she retreated hastily from her son's office. She chuckled, as she closed the door to the study, and then walked over to the kitchen to get a glass of wine.

Her foot caught in something on the floor and she almost stumbled, the leather couch barely breaking her fall. Martha looked down and saw a purple sweater wrapped around her ankle. Seriously?! She looked up and noticed clothes were haphazardly tossed and thrown all across the loft's living room. The direct trail from the front door to the study spelled out booty call in capital letters. Shaking her head, she followed the trail picking up after the lovebirds. She'd have to have a word with them in the morning, because among the clothes she spotted Beckett's gun and badge carelessly tossed on the floor near the door. Forget the wine, now she needed a scotch.

0~0~0~0~0

Unlike Castle who was snoring softly beside her, Beckett couldn't fall asleep. Her mind was running a mile a minute. They still hadn't really defined their relationship and lately it seemed to have become more and more about sex only. She was hot and sticky from their extended fuck session and, really, she should take a shower. That would help her cool and calm down enough to find some sleep. When she re-emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later, she felt thirsty. Glancing over her boyfriend who was still passed out in post-coital bliss on their bed, she picked up his dress shirt from the floor and shrugged it on over her shoulders. She looked around for her panties and when she couldn't find them she slipped into Castle's boxers as well. Pulling her hair into a ponytail, she ventured out of the study to get a bottle of water from the fridge. Beckett realized that her panties must be somewhere in the living room with the rest of her clothes because Castle had pounced on her the minute she walked through the door. She'd grab her clothes on the way back to his bedroom, before Alexis or Martha could find them. Beckett opened the fridge with a flourish, and grabbed a bottle of water with her other hand. She pondered briefly if she felt a bit famished after their lovemaking but decided against a late night snack. She threw the fridge door closed and turned towards the kitchen bar, stopping dead in her tracks.

"Martha!" Beckett yelped startled and embarrassed, clutching Castle's shirt in a bunch to her chest. She was standing half-naked in the other woman's kitchen, wearing nothing but her son's shirt and boxers. Kate knew that she must still look the very image of a woman who had just been thoroughly fucked and sated by her man in every way imaginable. She thanked her lucky stars that she'd had enough presence of mind to shower, so at least she didn't still smell like sex and wore  _something_. Still, if the earth beneath her suddenly opened up and swallowed her whole, she'd take it gladly. Anything to avoid this awkward moment.

"Katherine," Martha acknowledged the younger woman's presence with a nod. Castle's mother sat on the couch, a glass of scotch in hand, staring amused at her son's girlfriend.

"What are you doing here?" Kate glanced at her watch, only 9.30 pm. She quickly buttoned Castle's shirt up to make herself more presentable. "I mean Rick said you'd gone out for the night." Oh God when had Martha gotten home? Beckett glanced in the direction of the study where Castle was still sleeping in the bedroom. In the same bed that they just had incredibly loud and passionate sex until a few minutes ago. Kate felt the color rising in her cheeks. She'd thought they were alone and Rick had been unrelenting in his teasing tonight; she was pretty sure he made her scream when he finally let her come.

"Bad date", Martha tipped her head, "came home early." If she'd heard them, she didn't let on. Maybe Kate was worrying over nothing. After all, she'd taken a shower and Martha looked like she'd just gotten in and settled down on the couch with a scotch in hand. And that's when Beckett saw it. Her cell, gun and badge resting on a neatly folded pile of her clothes. Kate turned fifty shades of red and hung her head in shame. Oh god, this was  _so_  not happening! Her fingers tightened around the water bottle until the plastic made a popping noise.

"Sorry", Kate offered meekly. "Castle, err, called", she explained her presence in the loft on a writing night, slowly twisting the cap off the bottle. Suddenly she felt like fifteen again, justifying herself in front of her boyfriend's mother as to why exactly she distracted her darling son from finishing his homework on a school night. "He, um, hit a roadblock in his chapter, so he asked me to come over for…" her voice trailed off and she thought,  _for a booty call_. Cause that's precisely what his phone call had been. She'd just wrapped up her paperwork she'd been catching up on at the precinct, when her phone rang.

"For… research?" Martha supplied with a smile, sending her a knowing look.

"Yes, research, exactly", Kate couldn't help but grin. She'd better not find anything of what they did tonight in his next Nikki Heat.

"That explains why these were lying around." Martha pointed to the gun and badge.

Kate ran her fingers through her hair, "Look Martha, we thought we had the loft to ourselves and we got careless. I came straight from the precinct. We're usually better about gun safety but things got out of hand quickly…" She didn't even know when they'd gotten rid of her gun and badge. Rick must have taken them off at some point but she had no idea what he'd done with them. She hoped Martha hadn't almost stepped on her service weapon when she walked through the door.

"What if Alexis came home?" Martha knew Beckett was the last person who needed a lecture on gun safety but she never made a secret out of the fact that the weapon's mere presence in her home made her just a tad bit uncomfortable. How her son could sleep peacefully next to a woman who kept a gun under her pillow she'd never understand.

"I know and, to be fair, in my defense I was gonna collect them with my clothes and put them in the nightstand on my way back to the bedroom. I'm sorry you had to pick up after us." She wanted to bury herself in a hole and never come out again. Castle's mother had not just followed the trail of clothing her son had left behind in his hurry to get into her pants. If she had time for that she'd probably been home for a while and heard everything. Kate took a long swig of water to calm her nerves.

"Nah, don't worry," Martha waved her hand dismissively. "Couldn't find your handcuffs, though."

Beckett spit a mouthful of water across the room. She wanted to die right then and there. Martha rolled her eyes theatrically, while Kate spluttered and coughed. Castle's mother seemed completely unfazed by the knowledge that her son had just used Kate's department issued handcuffs for kinky sex games.

"Oh please Katherine, no need to act so embarrassed! So I came home early and almost walked in on you and my son playing cops and robbers. Big deal! It was bound to happen eventually..." Kate zoned out a bit. She was right of course. It was a miracle it hadn't happened before in the year that she and Castle had been dating. But Kate was usually highly vigilant and conscious of who was around the loft ever since Martha practically walked in on them after their first night together. Beckett focused back on Castle's mother just in time to hear, "… it's not like I don't know you two have sex. He's forty and I've got a granddaughter in college. Quite frankly, I'd be more worried if you and Richard didn't have a healthy sex life. I know my son, Katherine, trust me I've walked in on him in way more embarrassing situations than tonight..."

Oh Beckett had no trouble whatsoever believing that one. 'Yeah well, I'd prefer if you didn't know I let your son handcuff me to the bed.' Kate thought. Oh god, this was so much worse than when her mother had come home early and had caught her on the couch with her hands down Jimmy Nelson's pants.

"… though would it kill you to get past the research stage and make it already official?"

Did she just? Kate looked at Castle's mother wide-eyed. "Martha…"

"What? I'm not getting any younger and it would be nice to spend some time with my grandkids before I lose all my marbles."

"Martha!" Beckett exclaimed and chastised the older woman, "Rick and I, we're  _not_ …trying."

"My point exactly. What are you waiting for? I know my son loves you, and I'm pretty sure you feel the same way about him. So what's keeping you?"

"We're taking it slow," Kate defended herself.

"There's slow and then there's molasses." Martha looked at Beckett pointedly. "I know my son, Katherine, Richard doesn't do slow. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if he's already hiding an engagement ring in his office drawer. You've been seeing my son for almost a year now, you spend most of your time together here at the loft and I have yet to see you officially move in."

Right conversation, wrong Castle. Kate sighed deeply. Thank you, at least one Castle shared her concerns, even if it was not her boyfriend.

"Sit." Martha patted the soft leather next to her. Beckett's eyes darted to the open study, mapping out her quickest escape route.

"Unless you'd rather go hide in the closet?" Martha offered with a grin.

"He told you that?" Kate gaped, "Oh he's so dead. I'm gonna kill him."

"He didn't have to," Martha explained. "I've known all along you were behind me all the time. I'm his  _mother_."

"Why didn't you say something?"

"Because I had a miserable granddaughter nursing her first hang-over in the kitchen." Martha shrugged nonchalantly. "Besides, it's way too much fun to watch Richard squirming. A mother's prerogative, you know."

Kate looked at her skeptically but nodded anyway.

"Now come, sit with me." Martha patted the spot next to her. "Meanwhile I hope you punished him for making you hide in the closet."

"Oh don't worry, he was in the doghouse for a while." Kate reassured her and made a tentative step towards the woman. One step couldn't hurt and it happened before she'd even realized she'd done it.

"Look, Kate, maybe it's time for me to move out. If it's that hard and awkward for you to be around me", Martha began but Beckett interrupted her horrified.

"What?  _No!_ " she exclaimed.

"It was always meant to be temporary anyway," Martha continued.

"Martha, no! I don't want you to leave!" Kate rounded the kitchen counter and crossed the room quickly. "The last thing I want to do is drive you out of your own home."

Martha smiled, "But you shouldn't feel this uncomfortable in  _your_  own home."

Kate sighed and plopped down next to the older woman, "I don't even live here."

Martha groused, "My point exactly. If I were you I'd be hesitant, too, to move in with my boyfriend who still lives with his mother." She joked but when she saw the serious expression on Kate's face, her laughter died on her lips.

"It's not because of you!" Kate replied with a small voice, "He hasn't asked me."

"What?!" Martha looked at her dumbfounded. "That doesn't sound like Richard at all. Knowing him, I thought he'd started pestering you two weeks into dating you and you kept turning him down," Martha looked at her knowingly, "which would have been the right thing to do at the time because we all know my son gets these half-baked ideas stuck in his head."

"He hasn't. He agreed to take it slow for my sake. I wasn't sure how it was all going to work out with work and everything, so I asked him not to make any rash decisions and let things grow organically. I was afraid he might ask me to move in for good when my apartment was fumigated 'cause that would have been too soon. Now I'm not sure he wants us to move in together ever."

"Oh don't be silly, dear. You practically live here anyway."

"It's complicated."

"Eric Vaughn?" Martha asked simply.

"What? No," Kate frowned. "Rick told you about him?"

Martha nodded, "Even if he hadn't, the angry food chopping was a dead give away."

"I already told him that the kiss meant nothing."

"You kissed him?" Martha exclaimed surprised.

"Ohhh, he didn't tell you about  _that_." Kate bit her lip.

"Why would you do that, Katherine?" Martha looked at her shocked and confused, while she slipped into protective mother mode at the same time. "Why would you hurt Richard like that?"

" _I_  didn't kiss Vaughn. He kissed me but I didn't kiss him back and Castle knows that. Vaughn's only alive because I pushed him back and co-incidentally out of the line of fire because a second later the shots were fired through the window."

Martha scrutinized Beckett carefully, "Then why do you look so guilty?" Castle's mother raised her eyebrows and then it dawned on her. "Why would you let another man kiss you when you're in love with my son?"

"I don't know. Rick and I had a fight right before we were called to the scene." Kate scratched her the skin above her right eyebrow. "It was stupid really. He hasn't really been paying a lot of attention to me recently. I was mad at him. After the bomb scare…" Kate paused and took another sip of her water. "I told him I love him, you know. I should've done that long ago but I was so scared of letting him really in and the minute I do he turns around and ignores me and trades me in for video games. I'm standing in front of him practically half-naked and all he wants is open a virtual can of whoop ass on some kid in India. I just don't get it."

Martha grinned.

"What?" Kate huffed.

"Men are stupid and my son has never been one to break gender stereotypes when it comes to him understanding women."

"I don't get it. For years he's driving me crazy, shadowing me at work and following my every move, pesters and prods me for information and all of a sudden he's losing all interest in me."

"Well, not all interest", Martha pointed with her glass towards Beckett's pile of clothes.

"That doesn't count." Kate huffs and felt like she could really use some scotch of her own now.

"You're right, it doesn't." Martha nodded her agreement. "But then again men are stupid like that and think they can stop chasing us once they think they've got us at their beck and call."

Kate raised her eyebrow. "Are you saying Castle's resting on his laurels now that I've told him that I love him?" She kinda liked him chasing after her; it made her feel wanted and desirable.

"That's why we gotta keep our men on their toes."

"But that doesn't make sense! It's much harder to love somebody long term than fall in love with them."

"You and I know that. Richard?" Martha shook her head. "Not so much. Why do you think he's been divorced twice? You'd think he would've figured that out the second time around…"

"Men are so clueless!" Kate declared emphatically. "How can Rick base an entire book series on a female character, when he knows so little about women?"

"Always so smart", Martha grinned at Kate, "that's why you're my favorite daughter-in-law."

"Martha…" Kate started threateningly.

"What? I've never been one for technicalities."

"Don't get your hopes up, ok?"

"Okay, what's going on, kiddo?"

Kate just shook her head and fell silent. She really shouldn't be talking with Martha about him behind his back. It felt wrong, like she'd hang him out to dry. But the truth was she could use some advice. She'd never been in a relationship long enough to reach the point to ask her boyfriend about where they were going.

She'd come close once, with Will, but that was mostly because he got transferred and she had to make a decision about her professional and personal future. This was different. This was serious. At least for her it was. This time the questions came out of her own volition. She'd thought it was the same for Castle but after the way he'd brushed her off a few weeks ago she wasn't so sure anymore. She'd tried not to be mad at him, maybe he just needed time to think. She  _had_  let another man kiss her after all. Though it hurt her to know that he had to think about them first before he'd be able to answer her, she figured she could give him a little time. But with every day that passed without him bringing the subject up again, she started to lose hope.

Kate didn't know what to do. He'd always been her beacon of light, her rock, her unwavering source of strength; she would've never made it this far without him. He'd always been the one pushing her; he'd made her want to heal to be whole again for him. She didn't want anyone else. She wanted to marry Rick and spend the rest of her life with him, making little Castle babies, as Maddie had put it oh so eloquently in the interrogation room a few years ago. She didn't want all those things with anyone else.

It was moments like these she missed her mother the most. She could really use someone with perspective to talk to right now, someone more experienced in maintaining long-term relationships. She could really use her mom right now, she'd know what to do or at least she'd be able to reassure her everything would be fine, not matter how much she thought she'd screwed things up.

The sound of a glass being placed on the coffee table in front of her snapped her out of her thoughts. She looked up to find Martha had retrieved another glass for her and poured them a scotch.

"Drink!" Martha ordered and Kate reached for the glass. She took a small sip of the golden liquid and felt it burn down her throat.

"Now tell me what's got you so worked up you can't fall asleep and rather spend your night drinking scotch with me than curling up next to Richard."

And before she knew it and could stop herself, the words tumbled out of Kate Beckett's mouth, "You know the old adage that people see their lives before them when they're about to die? It's true, you know. When I got shot, I didn't really see or hear anything except for Castle. And last year, when I was about to fall off the ledge of that house, all I could think about was Castle." Kate took a deep breath. "And when I stood on that bomb for what felt like forever, I didn't just see my life with Castle flash by, I couldn't help but think that I'd never get to marry Castle, how I'd never get to see our children grow up, never even have the experience of motherhood, never know what it's like to make a life and feel it growing inside you."

"Why, Katherine Beckett, is that your biological clock that's ticking so loudly?"

"I wasn't even aware I want all those things until a few weeks ago!" Kate shook her head. "But lately it's all I can think about. I tried to talk to Richard about it but he ignored me." Kate willed back her tears. "And he's been avoiding me recently."

"Oh no, kiddo," Martha patted her shoulder reassuringly, "Richard loves you. Maybe he's just under a lot of stress from his publishers."

Kate shook her head, "He's been different. Acting weird," and upon Martha's raised eyebrows she added, "weirder than usual. I think he's going to break up with me."

"Well, let me assure you that judging from the way he reacted when you spent the night protecting Vaughn, he's still very much in love with you. And for the past four years all I've been hearing about is Beckett this and Kate that. And really, if he were seriously contemplating to dump you, do you think you'd get a late night booty call from him?" Martha looked at the younger woman pointedly, who was now biting her lips and blinking back her tears. "Oh come here, kiddo." Martha pulled Kate into a hug.

"I don't want to lose him, Martha. I love him. He's been acting so distant the last two weeks. It feels like he's slipping away right under my nose and there's nothing I can do about it. To be honest, I was a little surprised he called me to come over tonight." Beckett sobbed into Castle's mother's shoulder. "What am I supposed to do? He won't talk to me. Not really anyway. When I ask him what's wrong, he just shrugs his shoulders, claiming it's nothing. But I can  _feel_  it. Oh Martha, what if I screwed everything up? What if I made us wait too long and we missed our chance to be happy? I should've refused the protection detail on Vaughn. I've ruined everything."

Martha let Kate cry on her shoulder for a while, and when she noticed the other woman calm down again, she began to speak. "It's not my place to tell, but did Richard ever tell you how his first marriage ended?"

Beckett shook her head. "No, he didn't. Meredith hinted that she divorced him because she felt that he wasn't really opening up to her." Kate wiped away the tears with the sleeve of Castle's shirt.

Martha gave a humorless laugh. "Figures. Of course she left out the part where she cheated on Richard."

"What?" Kate looked up shocked. "Why did he never tell me that?"

Martha raised her eyebrows and looked at Kate pointedly, "Because men don't like to admit they've been cuckolded. Especially not when they walk in on their wife with her director... In flagrante delicto." Martha added for good measure, "In  _their_  bed."

Beckett gaped in disbelief at Castle's mother. "Shut the front door!" Things made so much more sense now. It still didn't excuse the fact that he didn't seem to trust her, but considering the betrayal he'd experienced before, he'd actually kept his jealousy remarkable in check.

"So you'll have to excuse Richard, when he overreacts in his jealousy a little bit. He's been burnt badly."

"I'd never do that to him. Yeah, I let Vaughn kiss me", Kate admitted ruefully, "but the minute his lips touched mine, I pushed him back. It just felt all kinds of wrong. I didn't even like it. All I could think about was how I'd rather be here with Rick than there in that stupid hotel suite, fending off Vaughn's advances. Castle can trust me. He  _should_  trust me."

"I know Katherine. And I'm sure that rationally Richard knows that, too. But in here," Martha patted her chest, "our hearts can be funny little fragile things. And to my absolute horror, I might have contributed to his jealousy."

"Why? How?" Beckett asked confused.

"I may or may not have hinted that technically you were free to explore your options because you're not really in a committed relationship." Martha wriggled her ring finger.

"Oh Martha, how could you?" Kate closed her eyes and threw her head back against the couch with a deep sigh.

"I'm sorry. I was just trying to move things along a little and set my son into the right direction. I'm not gonna live forever, you know, and it would be nice to know my son's taken care off, when I'm no longer."

"But I  _am_  committed, Martha. I don't need a stupid ring for that!" Kate objected. "We're not living in the middle ages anymore, for Christ's sake. I don't need a stupid ring or some piece of paper to tell me that I want to spend the rest of my life with your son."

"Have you ever told him that?"

"Well no. Not in so many words." Kate admitted grudgingly. She hadn't even told him how much she loved him until a little while ago. It seemed that all the major steps in her relationship with Castle coincided with life-threatening moments. "But it's not like he'll listen to me now anyway."

"Let me tell you something about my son. I know he can be a handful. I know he acts like an immature child half the time, and that's probably my fault because he's never had a proper male role model in his life. I know he gives his heart out way too easily. I know he gets excited about things quickly and loses interest fast. But Katherine, I also know that I've never seen my son so absolutely smitten and in love with another woman. And trust me, I've seen a lot of women, I've been there for the playboy phase. He might as well have installed a revolving door."

Kate rolled her eyes. Like she needed another reminder that her boyfriend's  _number_  was probably in the triple digits.

"Whatever it is that's going on between you right now it's not that he doesn't love you. I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding. So talk to him before it becomes something bigger."

"But that's just it. I asked him what it is that we're doing,  _where_  we're going. And he just brushed me off with a stupid joke."

"Don't ask him, Katherine, just tell him what you want. It's really not my place and I really don't want to meddle with your relationship but communication goes both ways. And I've been watching you kids for the last year and I gotta say, you're not exactly blameless. A relationship consists of give and take, and it can't be all on your terms, Kate."

Kate opened her mouth in protest.

"I'm not attacking or criticizing you, kiddo, but it didn't go unnoticed by me that for the most part you've been calling the shots in this relationship and now it's not entirely fair to turn the tables on Richard, either."

Kate frowned in confusion.

"Look, I get that you were keeping your relationship under wraps because you were afraid of repercussions at work. And I can't even begin to imagine how hard it must have been for you to let someone back into your heart after your mother was ripped away from you so brutally, so I won't even judge you on how long it took you to tell him that you loved him."

"I showed him," Kate pointed out.

"You did, and I can't tell you how much it warms my heart to know that you look out for my son the way you do. None of his ex-wives or girlfriends has ever gone to such great lengths to keep him entertained as you did with his broken kneecap."

"Then what's the problem?"

"You're still keeping one foot in the door."

"I'm not!" Kate objected.

"Yes you are, until you share your lives  _together_ , you're not all in, Katherine."

"Martha, I told you already that I do see a wedding for Rick and me in the future, but if he's not ready I won't push him."

"That's not what I meant." Castle's mother shook her head. "Why won't you accompany him to his book parties or charity functions?"

"Well, for one thing, we were keeping our relationship secret from Captain Gates."

"Richard told me she knows, so what's your excuse now."

"I just want my life to be  _mine_. I don't want to open page six and stare at my own face. I don't want to be branded as a gold-digger or Mrs. Castle #3."

"But you're not. You don't even have to go as his  _date_. You're his muse, the inspiration for Nikki Heat, that would be explanation enough for your presence, no one would question it."

"There'd still be rumors."

"Only they wouldn't be rumors."

"What exactly is your point here, Martha?" Kate was growing tired and impatient.

"You  _do_  realize that if you marry my son, you'll have to accept the whole package?"

"Of course. I don't care. I love you and Alexis, I get along with Gina and I'm even warming up to Meredith."

"That's not the package I meant." Martha laughed. "I'm talking about Richard Castle, the famous novelist. There'll be book tours, and readings, and launch parties, and book signings, and charity events."

"Oh." Kate pulled back, as she began to understand.

"Look Katherine, I can't blame you for avoiding public attention. Not everyone's born for the limelight, but you have to realize that being with Richard also means being part of  _his_  life, not just yours. And his life includes public appearances, crazy fans – and I'm not talking the stage-a-murder-in-his-honor kind, I mean the stuff-her-panties-in-his-pocket-while-posing-for-a -photo sort of fan." Martha looked at Kate, who scowled, for good measure. "You need to be prepared for that. You can't hide from it forever, not if you want to lead a normal life. So the sooner you admit that to yourself, the better."

"I just don't feel it's anyone's business what's going on between me and Castle. Not back when there wasn't anything going on between us, and they claimed that we were romantically involved, and especially not now when we are."

"I get that, Kate, I really do, but you'll have to learn to accept it and make peace with that."

"How am I supposed to do my job, when my face is plastered on page six all the time? I'm a cop for crying out loud, suspects would never take me seriously in the interrogation room."

"It won't be all the time, they lose interest quickly." Martha rubbed Kate's shoulder comfortingly. "Have you ever thought how Richard feels when you won't share this part of his life?"

"I support him in other ways. He knows I like his books!" Kate pulled away in defense.

"And that's great, but at the end of the day, he's alone at those parties, unable to share his success with you."

Kate pursed her lips, knowing what Martha was saying, but unwilling to concede verbally that she had a point.

"Do you know how boring these parties can be when you're going stag? He can't flirt with any of the women; on the contrast, he has to extricate himself diplomatically from all the women who fling themselves at him, because officially he's single, but in reality he doesn't want to worry you."

"Do you know what they call him?" Kate interjected.

"The white wale?" Martha looked at Kate. "Yep, I do. He used to bring Alexis as his date but she's in college now and getting on with her own life. He won't go with Gina because he feels that's inappropriate, now that you're together, and he doesn't want to hurt you."

"I suppose I could do one or two events a year."

"That's all I'm saying. You don't even have to go there together as a couple. The tabloids know you're Nikki Heat and you and Richard have been friends for years now, nobody would raise an eye. Just  _share_  it with him. Success means nothing if there's no one there to share it with, and you're the one person he wants to share it most with."

Kate grew very quiet, nibbling on her lower lip. He  _had_  asked her to accompany him to some kind of function last week. She hadn't really paid any attention to it, couldn't even remember what it was, because she'd turned it down so quickly. Could that be the reason he was holding back? Did he really feel that she was still not all in?

"Think about it." Martha nudged her shoulders, "You should get some sleep." She rose with a deep sigh. "I'm going to bed and so should you."

Kate nodded slowly, the wheels in her brain turning fast, as she tried to process everything she and Martha had just talked about.

Martha held out her hand to pull Kate up form the couch. "Just think about it, kiddo. I don't mean to put pressure on you, but if you're really sure about wanting Richard, you need to know what you're getting yourself into."

Kate nodded. "Thanks, Martha."

Castle's mother rolled her eyes and waved her hand. "It's nothing, that's what I'm here for."

"No really, Martha," Kate bit her lower lip unsure of how much she should and could share, "what you've said… it makes a lot of sense… and I guess it's what I needed to hear… so thank you."

"Come here," Martha pulled Kate into her arms and gave her a tight hug. "Anytime, kiddo, anytime. It's what mothers are for." She pulled back and looked at the younger woman knowingly. "I know I can't replace her, and I would never even dare to try, but I want you to know you're family, Kate, and anytime you need to talk, or a shoulder to cry on, you know where to find me."

Kate blinked back fresh tears, nodding.

"Now get some sleep."

"Night, Martha", Beckett extricated herself from their embrace and made her way back to the study.

"Sweet dreams, kiddo," Castle's mother called after her and then after a dramatic pause, "Oh and detective?"

"Yeah?" Kate turned around surprised.

"You hurt my son or break his heart, I know where to find you, too."

"Yes, ma'am!" Kate broke out into a huge grin, "Better grab my gun for self-protection then." She quickly dashed back to the coffee table to snatch her clothes and gun.

0~0~0~0~0

Beckett pulled open her top drawer and placed her gun and badge inside, before she tumbled over to the bed. She sat down on her side and looked at Castle who was still fast asleep. Her eyes glided across his naked body, since he'd pulled down the sheets into a bunch at his feet. Her ruggedly handsome man. Kate ran her fingers softly through his hair. Castle stirred a little bit but didn't wake up. She straddled him carefully and let her hands glide softly over his torso. Her lips began tracing little patterns across his chest, when she could feel his reaction to her straining between her legs.

"Hey," she smiled at him when he opened his eyes slowly.

"Kate?" He lifted his head groggily.

"Are you going to leave me?" She looked at him.

"What?" Castle blinked confused and propped himself up on his arms. "No!"

"Good." Kate smiled and kissed him softly. "Because I'm all in, Castle. The good and the bad."

"Mm'kay," he let his head fall back into the pillow.

"I mean it, tomorrow morning I want you to call Paula and tell her that you'll bring me to that thing that she wants you to go to."

"Kay." He mumbled half asleep.

Kate smiled slightly amused. She couldn't really blame him, she'd roused him from deep sleep in the middle of the night. She slid down to the left side and molded her body against his side.

"I'm ready whenever you are. I don't care how long it takes us to get there but I'll wait until you're ready." She rested her head on his chest.

"Ready for what?" Castle cracked one eye open.

"Us."

"Us?"

"Yeah," Kate just nodded and it looked like she was suppressing a giggle. If he'd been more awake he'd have reached for his phone to capture this moment on camera because he just knew she'd deny she giggled tomorrow.

"I want the whole nine yards with you, Castle."

"Alright, then." Castle agreed drowsily and went back to sleep. At least Kate thought so, until a few moments later he turned on his side and looked at her perplex. He was now fully awake.

"The whole nine yards?" He parroted her. "What's that even mean?"

"Oh you know. Rings, and a white dress, and midnight feedings, and school graduations, and family vacations, oh and a honeymoon of course."

"Kate, are you  _proposing_  to  _me_?" He looked at her a mixture of amusement and bemusement.

"No," she shook her head. "I'm just saying that this is where  _I_  see us going. And I really hope you see us going there, too, because really you have no choice since I'm the one with a gun. And even if you don't, I can wait until you do or I'll make you change your mind."

Castle grinned, "And how do you plan to change my mind?" He leaned over to kiss her.

"Oh I don't know, I have my ways…" She replied coyly as she played with the buttons of his shirt.

"You'll have to lose the shirt if you want to be really convincing." He deadpanned. Kate laughed out loud as she rolled them over and straddled him again.

0~0~0~0~0

"Just so you know", Castle exhaled deeply, still trying to catch his breath, "I don't need much convincing."

"You don't?" Kate lifted her head exhausted.

Castle shook his head.

"Then why have you been so weird and distant these past few days?"

She felt his chest heave with the deep sigh he let out.

"Because  _I_  wasn't sure whether we're going in the same direction. I really don't want to mess this up, Kate."

"You won't."

"I almost did."

"It's ok. We'll talk in the morning and hash out the details. Now go back to sleep."

"Love you."

"Love you, too."

A few minutes later Kate felt Castle's body stretching and turning away from her just as she was about to fall asleep. She opened her eyes slowly and saw that Castle was playing with his phone.

"What are you doing?"

"Shh," Castle mouthed for her to be quiet. "I'm calling Paula."

"What?" Kate sat up. "No! Do you have any idea how late it is?"

"Uh-huh, 10.45pm."

"Oh." Well it wasn't as late as she'd thought but still.

"Oh hey, Paula, hope I'm not interrupting anything but about that Black Pawn Young Authors shindig? I changed my mind. I'm coming. And so is Kate." He looked at Kate with a big grin while he listened to Paula ramble on about something. "I don't know. Let me ask her." He held his phone to the side, "Are you coming as Nikki Heat or as my date?"

Kate shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know." Castle smiled at her shyly. "Whatever you want."

The shy smile morphed into a boyish grin as he brought the phone back to his mouth and told Paula, "Both."

Kate rolled her eyes, watching as Castle hummed and nodded along to what Paula was saying. He finally said okay and good-bye and hung up.

"What did she say?"

"The usual. I think she just had a mini orgasm when she realized all the ways she can spin the Nikki Heat thing now that you're officially on board with it."

"Oh god, I knew this was a mistake."

"Nonsense, we'll ease you into it slowly. You won't have to do anything you don't want to. But I'm pretty sure Paula is already planning a book signing with the both of us."

"Great. More paperwork; just what I needed. Slave driver."

"Hush, my love. I'll make it up to you." He gave her a quick kiss.

"You gotta do better than  _that_  if you really plan on making this up to me."

He kissed her again, slower and longer this time. When he pulled back, she mumbled against lips, "More."

"Now who's the slave driver?" Castle whispered against her lips.

"Shut up and kiss me like you mean it already!" Kate pulled him closer and wrapped her legs around him.


End file.
